PORT WHITMAN: December 23, 2010 - Marchers picketed singing Christmas carols around the entire shopping center where WhamBanger TV is located yesterday, objecting to the recently discovered and marketed video of a movie taken in 1944 in the bunker below Berlin, where Adolf Hitler plays Christmas Eve Santa Claus to what remains of the Nazi high command. The original film was shot in black and white with a Zeiss 16mm movie camera by Eva Braun, who was the consort of Der Fuhrer and perished with him in a joint-suicide only a few months later as allied forces closed in. Since the surfacing of the movie, it has been restored, colorized, and digitized, coming in a spanking new DVD package with a photo of Hitler in Santa costume and a Nazi Swastika on the jewel case. It sells for $22.50 and is code-protected limiting play to one DVD player only.
The movie had recently been discovered in the personal effects of a Nazi escapee to Salvador, Brazil, Hermann Hess, a former member of the Berlin bunker's food service, who also doubled as an aide to Josef Goebbels. It shows the Christmas party in full swing, with the entire hierarchy of the 3rd Reich drinking champagne and eating cake and mini-sausages around a huge Christmas tree. The hum of bombers can barely be detected in the background, and viewers can discern that the partygoers are trying to blank out the noise by singing Holiday songs, specializing in the Instant Christmas Carol (see below), which was sung in English, with Ernst "Ratzi" Guterstaengl at the piano, in the few seconds that elapsed between bomb concussions. Dust can be seen falling from the ceiling in several shots, as the ground reverberates from the implosive impact of American bombing raids.
However, not to be deterred by the grim war news from celebrating the holiday and deriving maximum sentimentality, especially in those last days of the German Reich, Adolf Hitler makes a dramatic appearance as Santa Claus, bestowing gifts, spirited siegheils, and kisses for the little children of Dr. Goebbles and other bunker personnel who braved the attacks to bring their little ones into what could at any time be the final presence of their Fuhrer. Much weeping could be detected as the party and singing progressed, the participants realizing that their time was severely limited, and that a decade of Nazi rule would be coming to its end very soon. Yet, during the film, all sit on Santa's lap, and tell him what they want for Christmas (mostly that the Nazi atom bomb project will be finished so that Germany can win the war). Santa assures everyone that they'll get what's coming to them.
WhamBanger is betting that this DVD could almost instantly become a collectors item, as it is producing and marketing copies in limited amounts in their dozen stores in shopping centers along the East Coast, strictly as a Christmas special in 2010, just as the stores are about to close their doors due to bankruptcy at the end of the year. The international copyrights to the material are co-owned privately by an anonymous WhamBanger investor, and the family of Horst Fleckenstein, grandson of Hermann Hess.
The production is said to be financed by Asagatange Bonoluba Epu, an ex patria Nigerian prince who made millions persuading thousands of Facebook Members to help him rescue his confiscated funds from the National Bank of Nigeria, in conjunction with the semi-official organization "Jews-for-having-the-last-laugh" in Port Whitman.
The Instant Christmas Carol:
"Deck The Halls With Holy Angels We Have Heard All Ye Faithful, Joyful Herald Angels Sing That Glorious Song Of Old Three Kings Of Orient Are In A Manger No Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen For Tis The Season To Be Red-Nosed Reindeer Fa-la-la-la-LA-la-la-la-la!"
The Instant Christmas Carol (Music)
Special to
The Port Whitman Times
Henry Francisco
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