I try to write as if I were talking with God and God is talking back. Is that so bad? In that way, I believe God writes through me (God'll write through you too, just get in touch). You can believe it or not as you choose, but for the moment let's say this is true. What would you suppose to be enough of a good idea to be called God's Word? Thou shalt not kill? Well, yeah, duh. I'm aiming for what you and I know, deep in our hearts is the right and sensible thing to do in our current circumstances, where there are such vast differences between cultures, between people, between our concepts of God. So, we spend our time together, my God and me, and you too, to try to figure out what is best, not only for ourselves, but for ours to follow. Maybe we presume, but hey, somebody has to speak up.
The face of God (or is it The Devil) appears to me on my desk and is permanently etched there to receive our conversations. Imagine being able to hear, make spiritual contact, thru a desk!
No, it's not The Devil of course; perhaps it's God playing the Devil's Advocate, or is that just an imaginary entity presenting the Other Side? There is an Other Side, you know, to anything.
What!? you expected God to be all-perfect, white beard, heavy eyebrows long gray hair? You got it all wrong. God has been around, and the face of God shows some of the wear and tear. Not that pure countenance anymore, but one with the wrinkles of age, and the scars of the many worries about our civilization
WE PROMOTE BEST
Maybe what the US should do: Hire Salesmen - Ministers of Culture, to all countries in the world. Pay countries for their culture, their music, their dance, their literature, theatre, art, then re-sell it to the world. Maybe that's now our function - Sales - now that other countries, through their willingness to work for less making the things we invented, have skunked us in the competition for manufactured goods. No doubt about it, we are far ahead in the marketing of our products, which really are their products now. Hmm. Wouldn't be a bad job: Travel around, collect culture, dress it up, resell it. One could make a good buck...
PORT WHITMAN TIMES Dec. 30, 2010: As of January 1, 2011 Junk mailers must accept return e-mail for all transmissions coming into Greater Port Whitman. Also, there will be a 1¢ TAX levied to recipients on both sides, receiver and sender, on any e-mail that is opened, which tax shall be paid monthly through both their ISP's. The tax is a sample tryout for a proposed Worldwide tax by the UN, to finance education and modernizing programs everywhere. All ISP's must comply, and submit electronic records with payment or their WWWCC license to operate on the Internet will be suspended.
This is only a test, and since Port Whitman has the various economic levels of population equal to the same percentages in the world population, it is seen to be a valid sample of the world's reaction to the tax.
The Benefit (along with tax revenue) to onliners all countries: If receivers of spam, other advertising or any message, text or graphic reply to spammers with an an e-mail saying "Remove me from your mailing list" - the sender has to pay for that reply, and will be sure to remove that e-mail address from their list, lest they be taxed again.
"It's time for Internet users to clean up their acts, and start paying for all this stuff we get for free." said Gary Prost, the interim head of the proposed hard-nosed collection agency under the WorldWideWeb Communications Commission.
MISTER HENRY PLAYS REQUESTS - Mister Henry brings his rhythm piano and plays and sings the songs you request, from a list of more than 3,000 tunes. The American Songbook comes to life, as Mr. Henry makes up an entire show of the songs you choose for your luncheon or party, complete with dedications or memorials to a person of your choice. (610) 948-5567 or hjohnhenry@verizon.net
THE BANK
Now the bank wants to charge me an "Inactivity Fee" - Just for leaving my money with them and not doing anything with it. Or let THEM do anything with it either. So they are charging me for storing it there, for just letting it lie fallow. But if I make 10 transactions every month, there's no fee; In other words holding me up, for letting my dough sit. Pretty smart, banker, since it was one of yours who enticed me into first opening the account, so I could get a higher rate for letting you use my CD money to lend out!
Now, what if God (The Other Great power in our lives) operated thusly? If you just subsisted, So that if you just did nothing but get by, then you were penalized by not letting God use you for his purposes - "Two years in Purgatory, jack, 'cause you just sat around smoking dope instead of doing something with your life." What do the various Gods, The Father, The Son, The Holy Ghost, Allah, Jehovah, etc., do in a case like that?
(God playing Hitler now)"You vill be punished accordingly ffforrr your sins of commission or OMISSION, zat's rrright, vat you didn't do ven you could haff, or vat you ever thought about doing (or not doing)" - It's just too complicated; and think of what God has to go through to deal with all this for billions of people, not only while they're alive, but all of the dead ones who ever got to Heaven too. It's a logistical nightmare. "It'z a catastrastroke!" Durante used to say.
Remember: God is everywhere ("WOO, WOO, WOO!") like Santa Claus "He sees you while you're sleeping, knows when you're awake, what you're dreaming. Everything. No hiding from God.
So that's how it's getting to be, folks, you do nothing, time gets subtracted from your eternity. Not while you're here, but in-between here and there, for when you aren't there yet, yet not here anymore. Not like burning in Hell of course, more like endlessly standing in line, while you see others whom you consider less deserving than yourself being passed in. Oh, the injustice! - And the virgins, the servers of the good food, the perfect golf game, are lining up around the block waiting for you.
So God says "Get off your ass, Osama, and help save the world, not destroy it.
It's time to start controlling the population, for the sake of The Earth, not by blowing it up, but by more sensible means."
So start building up your eternity time, Eternity doesn't last forever, y'know. Time is fungible. And when someone says "Time's up" - That's the end.
Special to
The Port Whitman Times
Henry Francisco
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
NAZI VIDEO BEGETS PROTESTS
PORT WHITMAN: December 23, 2010 - Marchers picketed singing Christmas carols around the entire shopping center where WhamBanger TV is located yesterday, objecting to the recently discovered and marketed video of a movie taken in 1944 in the bunker below Berlin, where Adolf Hitler plays Christmas Eve Santa Claus to what remains of the Nazi high command. The original film was shot in black and white with a Zeiss 16mm movie camera by Eva Braun, who was the consort of Der Fuhrer and perished with him in a joint-suicide only a few months later as allied forces closed in. Since the surfacing of the movie, it has been restored, colorized, and digitized, coming in a spanking new DVD package with a photo of Hitler in Santa costume and a Nazi Swastika on the jewel case. It sells for $22.50 and is code-protected limiting play to one DVD player only.
The movie had recently been discovered in the personal effects of a Nazi escapee to Salvador, Brazil, Hermann Hess, a former member of the Berlin bunker's food service, who also doubled as an aide to Josef Goebbels. It shows the Christmas party in full swing, with the entire hierarchy of the 3rd Reich drinking champagne and eating cake and mini-sausages around a huge Christmas tree. The hum of bombers can barely be detected in the background, and viewers can discern that the partygoers are trying to blank out the noise by singing Holiday songs, specializing in the Instant Christmas Carol (see below), which was sung in English, with Ernst "Ratzi" Guterstaengl at the piano, in the few seconds that elapsed between bomb concussions. Dust can be seen falling from the ceiling in several shots, as the ground reverberates from the implosive impact of American bombing raids.
However, not to be deterred by the grim war news from celebrating the holiday and deriving maximum sentimentality, especially in those last days of the German Reich, Adolf Hitler makes a dramatic appearance as Santa Claus, bestowing gifts, spirited siegheils, and kisses for the little children of Dr. Goebbles and other bunker personnel who braved the attacks to bring their little ones into what could at any time be the final presence of their Fuhrer. Much weeping could be detected as the party and singing progressed, the participants realizing that their time was severely limited, and that a decade of Nazi rule would be coming to its end very soon. Yet, during the film, all sit on Santa's lap, and tell him what they want for Christmas (mostly that the Nazi atom bomb project will be finished so that Germany can win the war). Santa assures everyone that they'll get what's coming to them.
WhamBanger is betting that this DVD could almost instantly become a collectors item, as it is producing and marketing copies in limited amounts in their dozen stores in shopping centers along the East Coast, strictly as a Christmas special in 2010, just as the stores are about to close their doors due to bankruptcy at the end of the year. The international copyrights to the material are co-owned privately by an anonymous WhamBanger investor, and the family of Horst Fleckenstein, grandson of Hermann Hess.
The production is said to be financed by Asagatange Bonoluba Epu, an ex patria Nigerian prince who made millions persuading thousands of Facebook Members to help him rescue his confiscated funds from the National Bank of Nigeria, in conjunction with the semi-official organization "Jews-for-having-the-last-laugh" in Port Whitman.
The Instant Christmas Carol:
"Deck The Halls With Holy Angels We Have Heard All Ye Faithful, Joyful Herald Angels Sing That Glorious Song Of Old Three Kings Of Orient Are In A Manger No Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen For Tis The Season To Be Red-Nosed Reindeer Fa-la-la-la-LA-la-la-la-la!"
The Instant Christmas Carol (Music)
Special to
The Port Whitman Times
Henry Francisco
The movie had recently been discovered in the personal effects of a Nazi escapee to Salvador, Brazil, Hermann Hess, a former member of the Berlin bunker's food service, who also doubled as an aide to Josef Goebbels. It shows the Christmas party in full swing, with the entire hierarchy of the 3rd Reich drinking champagne and eating cake and mini-sausages around a huge Christmas tree. The hum of bombers can barely be detected in the background, and viewers can discern that the partygoers are trying to blank out the noise by singing Holiday songs, specializing in the Instant Christmas Carol (see below), which was sung in English, with Ernst "Ratzi" Guterstaengl at the piano, in the few seconds that elapsed between bomb concussions. Dust can be seen falling from the ceiling in several shots, as the ground reverberates from the implosive impact of American bombing raids.
However, not to be deterred by the grim war news from celebrating the holiday and deriving maximum sentimentality, especially in those last days of the German Reich, Adolf Hitler makes a dramatic appearance as Santa Claus, bestowing gifts, spirited siegheils, and kisses for the little children of Dr. Goebbles and other bunker personnel who braved the attacks to bring their little ones into what could at any time be the final presence of their Fuhrer. Much weeping could be detected as the party and singing progressed, the participants realizing that their time was severely limited, and that a decade of Nazi rule would be coming to its end very soon. Yet, during the film, all sit on Santa's lap, and tell him what they want for Christmas (mostly that the Nazi atom bomb project will be finished so that Germany can win the war). Santa assures everyone that they'll get what's coming to them.
WhamBanger is betting that this DVD could almost instantly become a collectors item, as it is producing and marketing copies in limited amounts in their dozen stores in shopping centers along the East Coast, strictly as a Christmas special in 2010, just as the stores are about to close their doors due to bankruptcy at the end of the year. The international copyrights to the material are co-owned privately by an anonymous WhamBanger investor, and the family of Horst Fleckenstein, grandson of Hermann Hess.
The production is said to be financed by Asagatange Bonoluba Epu, an ex patria Nigerian prince who made millions persuading thousands of Facebook Members to help him rescue his confiscated funds from the National Bank of Nigeria, in conjunction with the semi-official organization "Jews-for-having-the-last-laugh" in Port Whitman.
The Instant Christmas Carol:
"Deck The Halls With Holy Angels We Have Heard All Ye Faithful, Joyful Herald Angels Sing That Glorious Song Of Old Three Kings Of Orient Are In A Manger No Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen For Tis The Season To Be Red-Nosed Reindeer Fa-la-la-la-LA-la-la-la-la!"
The Instant Christmas Carol (Music)
Special to
The Port Whitman Times
Henry Francisco
Friday, December 17, 2010
DIVIDE, INFORM, CONQUER!
STOP GERRYMANDERING!
Every state in the USA has a pinpointed geographic center. See them at
State Geographic Centers
Now if we took each state's geographic center and drew pie slices out to the edges of the state, the number of pie slices being the number of representatives for that state in the U.S. House of representatives, and the width of each pie slice reflecting equal numbers of the population of that state, the gerrymandering, i.e., political juggling of seats in the U.S. House by re-drawing district lines, would be eliminated; thus, fair and equal representation would result.
For example, Pennsylvania currently represents 12,604,767 citizens, and has 19 congressional districts, so each member of congress represents 663,409 citizens. If you drew lines out from the center of the state (around Bellefonte, PA) with each slice representing 663,409 citizens, then probably the Philadelphia area would have 5 slices, Pittsburgh area 4 slices, one each to Erie and Scranton-Wilkes-Barre areas, and the other eight slices would be divided among the more suburban and rural areas in the middle of the state. All according to population. There would be no more making jiggly-lined boundaries to favor or minimize populations of one stripe or another.
Seems fair. Why not do it?
Here's another alternative: Concentric circles radiating out from the same center, each section representing the same number of people (663,409), the sections starting out fatter at the middle because the population is more sparse, and thinner around the edges where the population is more dense. Same result: gerrymandering defeated. What!? You don't want to defeat gerrymandering? You must be a Republican, or a Democrat, screaming "Raw deal!" every ten years when the census mandates a re-evaluation of the democratic process and the political maneuvering takes place. One can hardly believe that the framers of the constitution intended the political juggling that takes place in the present system. Hey, we have computers now, that can pinpoint population changes and democratize the way we, the citizenry, are represented. Probably anything would be better than the current system...
HENRY'S ICE CREAM LIVES!
In the center of Port Whitman's ethnic district lies Henry's, still making our own ice cream, and issuing cracker-barrel advice to the well-intentioned and self-aggrandizing heads currently running the world:
1. Stop considering less fortunate people less than your equal.
2. There are plenty of potential consumers in the world. Why are there not more producers? Greed is bad.
3. Get rid of God as a government model. God has better things to do. Base government on practicality, not faith in the unknown.
Ev'rything's ephemeral
Only it's online now
BULLETIN: Nothing is hammered in stone anymore.
Get used to it.
THE WAR ON IGNORANCE
The USA needs to set out to conquer the world peacefully - With knowledge of what is, of what exists right now. Drop iPads instead of bombs. iPads written in the local language with subtitles in English, then eventually, only in English. Our advantage is the greatest language the world has ever known, and it's the language of the greatest communicative technology in history, the Internet. Sure would be a lot cheaper than the technology of war. Thus we win... Howzabout the U.S. Department of Promotion, promoting our way of life, such as it is, which is a whole lot better than some I can think of.
Looking in the realistic crystal ball, it's evident that the USA is gradually losing influence and money as a manufacturing entity in the world. However, we still are a communications and promotional giant. We need to become salespeople to the world, representing all the manufacturing countries, to the undeveloped countries, giving everyone on earth a way of life in which they can have the things and conveniences that we have here, and that other developed societies have. We promote, they buy, we take a commission, thus we profit, the world improves. Face it, the USA is a service society. So let's serve, and make a living at it.
Henry Francisco
Special to
The Port Whitman Times
Every state in the USA has a pinpointed geographic center. See them at
State Geographic Centers
Now if we took each state's geographic center and drew pie slices out to the edges of the state, the number of pie slices being the number of representatives for that state in the U.S. House of representatives, and the width of each pie slice reflecting equal numbers of the population of that state, the gerrymandering, i.e., political juggling of seats in the U.S. House by re-drawing district lines, would be eliminated; thus, fair and equal representation would result.
For example, Pennsylvania currently represents 12,604,767 citizens, and has 19 congressional districts, so each member of congress represents 663,409 citizens. If you drew lines out from the center of the state (around Bellefonte, PA) with each slice representing 663,409 citizens, then probably the Philadelphia area would have 5 slices, Pittsburgh area 4 slices, one each to Erie and Scranton-Wilkes-Barre areas, and the other eight slices would be divided among the more suburban and rural areas in the middle of the state. All according to population. There would be no more making jiggly-lined boundaries to favor or minimize populations of one stripe or another.
Seems fair. Why not do it?
Here's another alternative: Concentric circles radiating out from the same center, each section representing the same number of people (663,409), the sections starting out fatter at the middle because the population is more sparse, and thinner around the edges where the population is more dense. Same result: gerrymandering defeated. What!? You don't want to defeat gerrymandering? You must be a Republican, or a Democrat, screaming "Raw deal!" every ten years when the census mandates a re-evaluation of the democratic process and the political maneuvering takes place. One can hardly believe that the framers of the constitution intended the political juggling that takes place in the present system. Hey, we have computers now, that can pinpoint population changes and democratize the way we, the citizenry, are represented. Probably anything would be better than the current system...
HENRY'S ICE CREAM LIVES!
In the center of Port Whitman's ethnic district lies Henry's, still making our own ice cream, and issuing cracker-barrel advice to the well-intentioned and self-aggrandizing heads currently running the world:
1. Stop considering less fortunate people less than your equal.
2. There are plenty of potential consumers in the world. Why are there not more producers? Greed is bad.
3. Get rid of God as a government model. God has better things to do. Base government on practicality, not faith in the unknown.
Ev'rything's ephemeral
Only it's online now
BULLETIN: Nothing is hammered in stone anymore.
Get used to it.
THE WAR ON IGNORANCE
The USA needs to set out to conquer the world peacefully - With knowledge of what is, of what exists right now. Drop iPads instead of bombs. iPads written in the local language with subtitles in English, then eventually, only in English. Our advantage is the greatest language the world has ever known, and it's the language of the greatest communicative technology in history, the Internet. Sure would be a lot cheaper than the technology of war. Thus we win... Howzabout the U.S. Department of Promotion, promoting our way of life, such as it is, which is a whole lot better than some I can think of.
Looking in the realistic crystal ball, it's evident that the USA is gradually losing influence and money as a manufacturing entity in the world. However, we still are a communications and promotional giant. We need to become salespeople to the world, representing all the manufacturing countries, to the undeveloped countries, giving everyone on earth a way of life in which they can have the things and conveniences that we have here, and that other developed societies have. We promote, they buy, we take a commission, thus we profit, the world improves. Face it, the USA is a service society. So let's serve, and make a living at it.
Henry Francisco
Special to
The Port Whitman Times
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
LIVE LONGER
1. Moderate your bad habits. Maybe completely eliminating them is not as easy as you thought, they have a "gotcha" on you to a degree; but to moderate them... so your body can catch up in between episodes - Don't eat, drink, sleep, go on benders, lost weekends, etc. Just a little bit on a regular basis, every day, every week, little enough so you can handle it with no really ill effects.
2. Same goes for your good habits - a little dab'll do ya daily better than thrice weekly. A little walk, a short run, a bike ride, a dip in the pool. Most convenient is a bike ride or a walk. You put on your coat and go, without having to go to a special place, suiting up, showering, scheduling, paying. Just go out, ride or walk to a destination, then back, or in a large circle ending where you started. A shopping center is great, where on a bike you can zoom around the parking lot early before the cars come, to the rear where the trucks go, in and out lightly up and down, fast, slow, sharp turns keeping you sharp, watchful. Same with walking of course, AND you can shop - Food, Supplies, whatever you need into your backpack.
3. New Idea: Learn to throw a ball with either hand. If you're a righty, then with your left, or vice-versa. Oh sure, you you throw OK with your main hand. Try try the other now - start with a tennis ball, throwing it against a wall and catching it on one bounce. Throw first with your main hand, then imitate what you did with your main hand with the other hand, right down to the stretch, the windup, the grip, the fingers, the tightness, the roll of the ball off the fingertips. Later a heavier ball like a rubber lacrosse ball. See how easy it is with your main hand, and how it gets easier with your other hand every time you throw. Right, left, right, left, aim for a spot on the wall. Catch, throw. You're training the whole other side of your body, yes, of your brain, which, after all, controls your body, right? Training your reflexes, your internal mechanisms. Think that's strange? There's a pitcher in the New York Yankees farm system who flings with either hand, causing some consternation among batters, finally resulting in a new rule in baseball as to the order of things: RULE: The pitcher must decide FIRST which hand he's throwing with, THEN the batter decides which side he's going to bat from. (Then of course the fielders shift, the umpires get out of the way, the dugouts protect themselves, the fans shift their attention, have another beer...).
It's important you "learn" that other side. Who knows when you'll need it? Start shaving, combing, brushing teeth, eating, painting, hammering, mouse-ing, maybe even writing - everything. Try it. Maybe you have a whole 'nother lifetime to live...
Henry Francisco
2. Same goes for your good habits - a little dab'll do ya daily better than thrice weekly. A little walk, a short run, a bike ride, a dip in the pool. Most convenient is a bike ride or a walk. You put on your coat and go, without having to go to a special place, suiting up, showering, scheduling, paying. Just go out, ride or walk to a destination, then back, or in a large circle ending where you started. A shopping center is great, where on a bike you can zoom around the parking lot early before the cars come, to the rear where the trucks go, in and out lightly up and down, fast, slow, sharp turns keeping you sharp, watchful. Same with walking of course, AND you can shop - Food, Supplies, whatever you need into your backpack.
3. New Idea: Learn to throw a ball with either hand. If you're a righty, then with your left, or vice-versa. Oh sure, you you throw OK with your main hand. Try try the other now - start with a tennis ball, throwing it against a wall and catching it on one bounce. Throw first with your main hand, then imitate what you did with your main hand with the other hand, right down to the stretch, the windup, the grip, the fingers, the tightness, the roll of the ball off the fingertips. Later a heavier ball like a rubber lacrosse ball. See how easy it is with your main hand, and how it gets easier with your other hand every time you throw. Right, left, right, left, aim for a spot on the wall. Catch, throw. You're training the whole other side of your body, yes, of your brain, which, after all, controls your body, right? Training your reflexes, your internal mechanisms. Think that's strange? There's a pitcher in the New York Yankees farm system who flings with either hand, causing some consternation among batters, finally resulting in a new rule in baseball as to the order of things: RULE: The pitcher must decide FIRST which hand he's throwing with, THEN the batter decides which side he's going to bat from. (Then of course the fielders shift, the umpires get out of the way, the dugouts protect themselves, the fans shift their attention, have another beer...).
It's important you "learn" that other side. Who knows when you'll need it? Start shaving, combing, brushing teeth, eating, painting, hammering, mouse-ing, maybe even writing - everything. Try it. Maybe you have a whole 'nother lifetime to live...
Henry Francisco
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