BUY MEXICO!

© Port Whitman Times 2007

Since we are criminalizing, then looking away then accepting then hiring then persecuting then deporting then fining then considering then ignoring then accepting then licensing then registering then educating then embracing then legalizing them (The Mexicans).....

Why doesn't the U.S. just BUY Mexico?

I'm sure there's a price, between their dream top peso and our dream bottom dollar, that can be struck; maybe they'll pay us to take it. So instead of all the Mexicans moving here, we can comfortably move there, share our country and all its products including jobs with them, and we get land, oceanfront (Beachfront villas for the retirees), we get oil (Sixth largest oil producer with 12.5% of the world's reserves), and we get people to do those jobs that nobody wants. At a fair price of course.

We get enough oil to last us until the alternative-powered car is developed and for sale, at a fair price.

The Mexican police remain where they are, becoming state police of Mexico. Their President becomes the governor of the state of Mexico, the constitution of the state is drafted, and everyone remains where they are, militia included, a paycheck continuing, coming every two weeks. Saves on the traveling, depriving the oil cartels of that much of their exorbitant fuel profit it from we who are currently overdcharged.

With the permission of the Mexicans, we adopt English as the official language, but retain Spanish which everyone is required to learn, teaching three years of it in the high schools, and free lessons in all the churches. That creates jobs for English and Spanish teachers, and interest in each-other's culture, which is the case anyway.

What are we waiting for? The Mexicans probably want it more than we do. Just do it! Go there with planeloads of money, bank account numbers, and buy everyone. It would surely be cheaper than making war in Iraq. Nobody gets killed and we'd get a lot more for our money. This could be the Keystone of the GWB presidency ("George, here's something that could save your presidency, make it really count."), the acquisition of Mexico as the 52nd state.

Now, what if the Mexicans balk? What if they take a vote, and the Mexicans say "No?" That means we haven't spent enough money convincing them. But I betcha the Mexicans would jump at the chance. How to do it is the only roadblock, which can be cleared easily. Maybe it would be better to get the Mexican Government to declare bankruptcy, and the US buys them out of it - with the condition that they become a state, which they do, and an election is scheduled six months from now, meanwhile, for six months we shower them with that inimitable USA hospitality.

We get them, their land available for development, their Music, their food, their long American Heritage (We can't pretend we're English forever). What do they get? Why, they get us and our American Heritage such as it is. Both of course have their drawbacks, but you accept the chaff with the wheat.

Or, another way, why not buy Mexico a little at a time, say an acre, with all the rights of secession from the Mexican Union such as it is, and just eat our way with money, into Mexico an acre at a time. "Who will buy? Our Beautiful Taco Bell?"

Not that Mexico per se is any great bargain, there are a great many poor, undereducated Mexicans who are gonna need help. And for simply doing that, we get all of the above, plus all of the below.

Henry Francisco
The Port Whitman Times

KEYBOARD SYMPHONY, A NEW RIFF

PORT WHITMAN February 9, 2010 - Undaunted by the discontinuance of the Port Whitman Symphony Orchestra, disbanded early this year because of lack of community support amid financial problems, Michael Backstrom, the former conductor of the orchestra, whose controversial taste in programming ran from traditional classics to modern 12-tone pieces, has steered local music into a new direction, founding the Port Whitman Keyboard Ensemble, a full 60-piece orchestra employing electronic keyboards exclusively, to continue the community's musical traditions, hopefully satisfying the cravings of music lovers of all stripes.

At its first concert in Strong Vincent High School auditorium, the local glitterati came in full force,and the curious came from all strata of economic and social groups, filling every seat, showing their support for Maestro Backstrom and the Port Whitman Progressive Piano Society, proving that, as Barbara Weschler, chairperson of the PWPPS support group, stated, "Music of deceased composers isn't dead yet, so there!" The new group plans on presenting programs from living composers as well, the with names of pop and soul composers being mentioned, along with the time-tested traditionals.

Taking the podium in his usual white tie and tails, Mr. Backstrom led a group of keyboardists arranged in exact duplication of the standard symphony orchestra, a semi-circle around him, their Yamahachi-branded instruments looking for all purposes like rows of desks, with the "strings" in front, then "brass," "woodwinds" and "reeds," then the "percussion" in the rear, each keyboard set to play assigned instruments according to their section. Concert selections included "Symphonie Fantastique" by Hector Berlioz, "La Valse" by Maurice Ravel, "Rhapsody in Blue" by George Gershwin, and Duke Ellington's "Take The A Train" with impromptu jazz solos by random players selected on the spot by the conductor. "Just close your eyes, open your ears, listen and imagine" said the conductor at the outset.

The event was sponsored by Yamahachi of America, with their latest series keyboards supplied by the manufacturer through their network of music dealers in and about Port Whitman, and Freehand Systems, with MusicPadPro readers provided for each instrument. The keyboard orchestra concept is especially favored, and financed, by the Bilotti foundation, controlled by Charlene Bilotti, granddaughter of Dr. Louis Bilotti, a local surgeon and real estate investor who founded the Port Whitman Symphony in 1926.

There had been some controversy over the program and the choice of non-acoustic instruments, especially from traditionalists and instrument players who are not keyboard-qualified, thus excluded from concert personnel, but Backstrom plans to forge ahead with the players he has, augmented by advanced students specially selected from the Port Whitman Conservatory of Music, while offering a special brush-up keyboard course for any instrumentalists whose piano technique has deteriorated over the years. Many hurdles had to be negotiated, especially with the local musicians' union, and with the American Symphony Orchestra League, which originally thumbs-downed the project; however, Yamahachi International stepped in and applied its considerable economic influence to the groups, ameliorating the situation at least for the current season.

For its next concert, to be held this summer at the Port Whitman Dell, Maestro Backstrom has scheduled Gustav Mahler's "Symphony #5," The Beethoven "Eroica Symphony," special orchestrations of three Scott Joplin Rags, and the Spike Jones arrangement of "Cocktails for Two" with more impromptu solos, this time featuring the percussion section's novelty sounds. Auditions for keyboard players will be announced in The Port Whitman Times, and held by appointment only.